Happy Birthday Kimberly

A lot of people don’t know this about me, but my baby sister Kimberly was born two years ago today, on July 10, 2015.  She blessed us with her presence for almost four months, even though doctors told us that she was not going to survive birth.  Doctors then told us she was only going to live a week…yet she managed to live that, and then some.  She truly was a miracle – she impacted our lives and everyone else around her.

Kimberly would’ve been 2 years old today and I know she is up in heaven smiling down on us. I sometimes think how life for her is up in heaven. I imagine her looking healthy with her angel wings, laughing and running around. She was my half sister and I am sure Julianna and her would’ve been best friends if she were here with us. Kimberly was born with Edward’s Syndrome (also known as trisonomy 18). It is a genetic disorder where you carry three copies of chromosome-18 instead of two.

Unfortunately, the day she passed away on November 4 was a day that changed all of our lives. We received a text from my dad telling us that Kimberly wasn’t feeling too well, but a nurse was on her way to their home to check on her. I kept checking through out the day to see how things were while I was at work. My dad kept telling me she wasn’t great but the nurses were there looking after her. I regret going to work that day. i wish I would’ve gone straight to my dads and stayed there. NOTHING is more important than our families and health.  It was past 6 PM when I called my dad to tell him we were on our way to see Kimberly. “It’s too late, mija”, he said.
“Kimberly is gone.”  I felt everything spin, I wanted to throw up. I began to scream and cry as I handed Julianna over to Carl.  I felt so guilty for not being there – I never got to say good bye. We rushed over to my dad’s house…the whole family was there. My step mom was on the sofa, holding her, holding Kimberly. Her lifeless body in her arms. She was rocking her, as if she was asleep, but we knew she was no longer there. I bent down on my knees and started kissing Kimberly’s tiny face… her tiny body as tears streamed down my face.

We stayed for about 3 hours until the coroner’s office came to pick her body up. The following day I went to go buy her a dress and in the days that followed we planned the funeral. The funeral was beautiful and filled with love from the whole family and  other people as well.

There is more to life than social media and Instagram. I sense there are, at times, competition within other moms. Why? I don’t understand. If we are all trying to accomplish the same thing and do good in our  own motherhood journeys, we should all be in this together.  There is room for everyone. I am all about encouraging and wishing the best for every mom and woman out there. Embrace life and embrace your families. Together, we can make it happen. The pretty squares you see on Instagram is not life… there is a life beyond all of that. There are tears, there is anger, and there is ugly. My heart goes out to all the moms out there that have buried their babies. This is for Kimberly and for all the other babies that have gone to heaven far too soon.

xo, Jan

Here is our sweet Kimberly. We will always miss you baby girl- Love you so much. Happy Birthday in heaven. I hope you’re having the best time, blowing your candles and laughing.

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Hello! I am Janet. I love connecting with people through all things creative. I hope to hear from you. xo

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